Archive | May, 2012

The Devils Ride

23 May

Let’s talk for a minute about a show that the Discovery Channel is getting all wrong – The Devils Ride.

It’s on immediately following Deadliest Catch and I like motorcycles, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

The Devils Ride

This is the face I made while watching the show (minus the cigar).

There is no way in the devil’s domain that this show is real. You want me to believe that this motorcycle club signed up to do this show and in the first two episodes 1) there is an immediate need for a new clubhouse, 2) their president and founding father decides to step down, and 3) said president ends up turning in his colors rather than having them stripped after a beef with the new president (who he hand picked, by the way)? I don’t think so.

And that’s just three examples of the ridiculousness.

This show is beyond lame. And as a grammer nerd, it really irks me that these guys can’t spell. Laffing Devils. Snubz. Bonez. Mi brane hertz.

The only way you could get me to watch this show again is if you told me that Stone Cold Steve Austin was going to give Sandman the Stunner he so desperately deserves.

My prediction is that The Devils Ride will end up being a quick trip to cancellation.



Deadliest Catch

23 May

If you had told me 10 years ago I’d love a show about crab fishing, I’d have told you that you were off your rocker. But, yes, it is true. I am glued to the tv for every episode of Deadliest Catch. That Bering Sea…just wow.  I got sucked into this reality show a few years ago and have watched faithfully ever since.  Let me start by saying, I used to think it was ridiculous the price per pound restaurants charged for crab.  I remember quite a few visits to Joe’s Crab Shack with Sassycas and we always ordered the King Crab but grumbled about the price anyway.  Never again!  After seeing what these men go through to catch these crab, I will never again complain about the price per pound.  No way.

There have been boats on and off the show over the course of the seasons.  I do miss watching the Cornelia Marie with Capt. Phil Harris (RIP) but the remaining boats keep my watching.  My favorite boat is definitely the Northwestern.  Who doesn’t love Capt. Sig Harris, and Edgar, and Jake, and Nick?  Love those guys!!  And it’s great seeing Jake Harris working hard to fit in.  I really hope the rehab is helping him better himself for his own sake and for his father’s sake.  Second, I love the Time Bandit.  Those Hillstrands just crack me up.  And I love how they have taken Josh Harris under their wings.  Phil is smiling down without question.  Next, it’s a toss-up.  I like the Wizard being on the show just because I don’t know what crazy Keith will do next.  And, I love Freddie!  (You know Freddie, the deck hand from the Cornelia Marie.)  Freddie is awesome.  His energy is contagious.  One of the newer boats on the show is the Seabrook.  I really like that boat and see a lot of potential on the show.  Capt. Scott really meshes well with the other captains.  He reminds me of a young Phil Harris.  The boat I would LOVE to see booted off the show is The Ramblin’ Rose.  I can’t stand Elliot!  He’s young, pompous, arrogant, and disrespectful.  His poor decisions and ‘I already know everything’ attitude is going to get one of his poor deck hands killed.

Discovery channel, you did this one right!  Don’t be foolish, keep the “key” boats on the show, or you will tank.  No more silly arguments with the Time Bandit where the Northwestern has to threaten to pull off this show if things aren’t resolved. 

I have tried watching some of the other “similar” reality shows like the one about lobster fishing, etc.  They just don’t do it for me.  Something about the chemistry on Deadliest Catch is just, well, right. 

~Chica Pants


21 May

I like to think that I am a well-rounded individual, both mentally and physically speaking. However, the latter has been known to pose its challenges.  Being a woman with curves and a little more to love here and there, finding trendy and fashion forward clothing is quite a challenge…or at least it used to be one.  I found myself in the likes of Kohl’s, Lane Bryant, Avenue, & Catherine’s.  Kohl’s used to be decent in their women’s sizes but over the past decade has turned very matronly.  Not a lot for a 20 something, 30 something, or even hip 40 something to wear.  Lane Bryant has some cute styles but either they try to be too ‘young’ or just don’t have the right fit.  They are very pricey and most times I don’t think the quality supports the price they ask.  Avenue can have some good finds, mostly in shirts, their pants never fit right.  Every pair of pants at Avenue give you a tight waist and bubble-butt.  And Catherine’s is only good if you are 300-400 pounds and over 50.  What is a mod fashionista to do?  Answer:  Torrid.  While some of the Torrid fashions lend themselves best to a teenage audience, they offer a beautiful selection of denim in various fits as well as trendy work wear and fun play wear.  The shoes and boots are  on-trend and priced right for fashion footwear.  The footwear is a bit on the cheaper side in terms of quality but it sure is nice to be able to find a knee or thigh high boot for a slightly more voluptuous leg shape.  The footwear will last a solid season, maybe two, but probably won’t be in great shape for many years to come.  I enjoy the Torrid experience.  I enjoy that their sized are 0 through 4.  (Which translates to size 12 through about a 26/28 I believe.)  If you have some flirty curves and want to show them off right and not always be stuck trying to ‘make due’ go to your local Torrid location.  If there is not one near you, go to   Happy shopping!

~Chica Pants

The Birdcage

11 May


Have you ever watched The Birdcage?  If not, put this on your “Must See” list immediately.  Maybe you don’t realize how this movie can guide your life on a daily basis.  Allow me to provide a few examples with the following quotes from the movie.

 I will preface by saying, this movie is a favorite of Sassycas and me.  We watch it faithfully… and often.

(1) Armand: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.

     –Ok, so this one is just a line I like to say on occasion.  Not sure why.  Next.


(2) Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets? Agador: It’s aspirin with the “A” and the “S” scraped off. Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea! Agador: I know.

     –It is just really fun to say “I know” in the Agador voice.  This one comes in handy.


Albert: Oh God, I pierced the toast! Armand: So what? The important thing to remember is not to go to pieces when that happens. You have to react like a man, calmly. You have to say to yourself, “Albert, you pierced the toast, so what? It’s not the end of your life.”

     –Another classic.  I reference “I pierced the toast.  So what.  You can always get more toast.”  This is a brilliant metaphor.  When something gets a little messed up, this is a great one to help you not to overreact.  That’s right kids, this movie is quite educational.  🙂


Albert: He blew a BUBBLE with his GUM while I was singing. He can’t do that while I’m SINGING!

     –Ok, this is another one that’s just fun to say in the Albert voice.  “he caaan’t do that while I’m SINGing!”   lol


Agador: Armand, why don’t you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness? Armand: Your what? Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You’re afraid I’m too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right? Armand: You’re right. I’m afraid of your heat.

     –Talking like Agador is plain fun.  Maybe we should have a ‘Talk Like Agador’ day.  That would be a hoot!  I like to say “It’s my natural heat.  Are you aftaid of my Wuatemallenness?”   ❤ Agador!


Agador: My father was the shaman of his tribe and my mother was the high priestess. Armand: So why the hell did they move to New Jersey? Agador: I don’t know, they’re so stupid.

     –Talking like Agador…check.  Getting to say, “I don’ know, they’re so stupid.”  Yep, just plain fun and applies to life regularly.  Check.


Armand: [to Agador] Pull yourself together! Because you have to cook dinner. And I’m going after fucking Albert. [Exits] Val: You… can *cook*, right? Agador: Your father seems to think so…

     –This one, yes, gets tons of airtime in my vocabulary.  “You’re fodder seems to tink so” is a regular.  Somehow I see to find ways to fit this one in as much as humanly possible.


Senator Kevin Keeley: I feel like I’m insane.

      –This one is self-explanatory.  And the half falsetto voice he says this line in make it a favorite.  With the craziness in my life, I definitely make regular use of this one.


Val: Agador, why aren’t you wearing your shoes? Agador: [manly voice] I do not wear the shoes… because… they make me fall down.

— Agador using his deep “butler” voice saying “because, they make me fall down” is hilarious.  When I see people trip or such this one pops in my head every time.  Actually, I forget not everyone knows this movie and getting many chuckles while receiving blank stares as others don’t get my references.


Louise Keeley: It’s so dangerous! You could’ve fallen! Senator Kevin Keeley: I did!

–Again, Gene Hackman’s falsetto is hilarious.  Sassycass and I both say “I did” in the Senator Keeley voice ALL the time!  Thank God she’s my bff and understands (and shares) my sense of humor.  We crack each other up often.


Albert: I’m just… a guy! Armand: What about those? [Gesturing to Albert’s pink socks] Albert: These? Well, one does want a hint of color. Armand: [Armand and Val laugh at him, trying to hide it in their expressions, though] Albert: You think when I dress like this I’m even more obvious.

     –This may be my favorite line of the whole film.  “One does want a hint of color.”  I use this the most.  This applies on a regular basis at my job.  Such great fashion advice.

So, if you are still reading this, thank you.  ha ha  And also, you are now officially ready to watch The Birdcage.  “We are family…da da da da da da da dee.”

~Chica Pants

The Wiggles (DVDs)

10 May

God help me.  I am so incredibly exhausted of watching The Wiggles on DVD that I could cry.  That being said, my 3 year old son thinks they are the absolute best.  (Once again…Lord Help Me!!)  Yes, I realize there are worse things out there.  But, my sanity is a bit tried at this point.

I do have to admit, I get a kick out of watching my son sing and dance along with all The Wiggles songs.  Hot Poppin’ Popcorn, Big Red Car, and Crocodile Wiggles are his 3 favorites at present.  I love to see my son strap on his plastic guitar and play along with all the songs.  He takes the choreography quite seriously.  But after about 5-10 back-to-back airings of The Wiggles in one day, (to be repeated every day,) it’s a bit much.

On a positive note, when my son demands me to stand up and dance along with classics such as ‘Wake Up Jeff’ or ‘Dance For The Queen of the Roses’ with Dorothy the Dinosaur, or the antics of Captain Feather-Sword, at least I can consider it some good cardio, right?  (Ever get ‘Rolling Down The Sandhill’ stuck in your head?  It isn’t a pretty sight!)

Anyone else been through this type of Wiggles obsession?  Any good advice for this Wiggled-out mom?

One trick I’ve been able to utilize is convincing my little wiggler to let me play the dvds on a portable dvd player on the end table instead of on the big tv in the living room.  Thumbs up for this idea!

All in a day’s work I suppose for a toddler mom.

~Chica Pants

Raspberry M&Ms

8 May

I will keep this short and sweet (Pun *totally* intended.)

Have you tried the Dark Chocolate Raspberry M&Ms?  No?  Then, you need to.  The problem is, they are not easy to find.  The ONLY place I have been able to find these tasty little treats is at CVS drug store/pharmacy.  But let me tell you, the inconvenience is worth it for a taste…or two…or three…  you get the idea.

The dark chocolate outer marries perfectly with the raspberry chocolate core.  These are ingenious!  I have not been a fan of many of the new M&M flavor introductions.  I don’t like coconut.  I don’t really want mint.  But raspberry, now you are speaking my language.  And these go beautifully with a cup of coffee.

~Chica Pants