The Birdcage

11 May


Have you ever watched The Birdcage?  If not, put this on your “Must See” list immediately.  Maybe you don’t realize how this movie can guide your life on a daily basis.  Allow me to provide a few examples with the following quotes from the movie.

 I will preface by saying, this movie is a favorite of Sassycas and me.  We watch it faithfully… and often.

(1) Armand: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.

     –Ok, so this one is just a line I like to say on occasion.  Not sure why.  Next.


(2) Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets? Agador: It’s aspirin with the “A” and the “S” scraped off. Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea! Agador: I know.

     –It is just really fun to say “I know” in the Agador voice.  This one comes in handy.


Albert: Oh God, I pierced the toast! Armand: So what? The important thing to remember is not to go to pieces when that happens. You have to react like a man, calmly. You have to say to yourself, “Albert, you pierced the toast, so what? It’s not the end of your life.”

     –Another classic.  I reference “I pierced the toast.  So what.  You can always get more toast.”  This is a brilliant metaphor.  When something gets a little messed up, this is a great one to help you not to overreact.  That’s right kids, this movie is quite educational.  🙂


Albert: He blew a BUBBLE with his GUM while I was singing. He can’t do that while I’m SINGING!

     –Ok, this is another one that’s just fun to say in the Albert voice.  “he caaan’t do that while I’m SINGing!”   lol


Agador: Armand, why don’t you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness? Armand: Your what? Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You’re afraid I’m too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right? Armand: You’re right. I’m afraid of your heat.

     –Talking like Agador is plain fun.  Maybe we should have a ‘Talk Like Agador’ day.  That would be a hoot!  I like to say “It’s my natural heat.  Are you aftaid of my Wuatemallenness?”   ❤ Agador!


Agador: My father was the shaman of his tribe and my mother was the high priestess. Armand: So why the hell did they move to New Jersey? Agador: I don’t know, they’re so stupid.

     –Talking like Agador…check.  Getting to say, “I don’ know, they’re so stupid.”  Yep, just plain fun and applies to life regularly.  Check.


Armand: [to Agador] Pull yourself together! Because you have to cook dinner. And I’m going after fucking Albert. [Exits] Val: You… can *cook*, right? Agador: Your father seems to think so…

     –This one, yes, gets tons of airtime in my vocabulary.  “You’re fodder seems to tink so” is a regular.  Somehow I see to find ways to fit this one in as much as humanly possible.


Senator Kevin Keeley: I feel like I’m insane.

      –This one is self-explanatory.  And the half falsetto voice he says this line in make it a favorite.  With the craziness in my life, I definitely make regular use of this one.


Val: Agador, why aren’t you wearing your shoes? Agador: [manly voice] I do not wear the shoes… because… they make me fall down.

— Agador using his deep “butler” voice saying “because, they make me fall down” is hilarious.  When I see people trip or such this one pops in my head every time.  Actually, I forget not everyone knows this movie and getting many chuckles while receiving blank stares as others don’t get my references.


Louise Keeley: It’s so dangerous! You could’ve fallen! Senator Kevin Keeley: I did!

–Again, Gene Hackman’s falsetto is hilarious.  Sassycass and I both say “I did” in the Senator Keeley voice ALL the time!  Thank God she’s my bff and understands (and shares) my sense of humor.  We crack each other up often.


Albert: I’m just… a guy! Armand: What about those? [Gesturing to Albert’s pink socks] Albert: These? Well, one does want a hint of color. Armand: [Armand and Val laugh at him, trying to hide it in their expressions, though] Albert: You think when I dress like this I’m even more obvious.

     –This may be my favorite line of the whole film.  “One does want a hint of color.”  I use this the most.  This applies on a regular basis at my job.  Such great fashion advice.

So, if you are still reading this, thank you.  ha ha  And also, you are now officially ready to watch The Birdcage.  “We are family…da da da da da da da dee.”

~Chica Pants


One Response to “The Birdcage”

  1. sassycas May 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

    Right on, Chica Pants! The Birdcage is highly applicable to everyday life. I know guys like to reference The Godfather, but really, how often do you have to remember to “leave the gun; take the canoli?”

    In addition to the great references above, here are a few more:

    Armand: “You look tired.” Albert: “‘You look tired’ means ‘you look old’ and ‘you look rested’ means ‘you’ve had collagen.'”

    What does this mean? Be careful about the compliments you give people and what the underlying message could be.

    Armand: “Who sets the table without looking at the bowls?”

    What does this mean? Well, for starters, look at the bowls before you set the table!

    Albert: “Now I’m this short, fat, middle-aged…THING!” Armand: “I made you short?”

    What does this mean? You’re not going to win an argument if you’re not somewhat realistic in your reasoning.

    Agador: “You forgot the shrimps!”

    What does this mean? Nothing really. It’s just fun to say “chreemps” like Agador:-)

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